(no subject)

[shinytoaster]

Spotted at and gacked from mayhap,

Set your iTunes to Shuffle. Use each song that comes up, in order, to answer the following questions:

Question: What do you think of me, iTunes?
Answer: Ecuador - Sash! Feat Rodriguez
iTunes maybe thinks I am a sensuous Latin lothario? I can see the appeal, so right after this I'm off to get my speedo-line waxed and book a session in the tanning booth. Well, Ecuador isn't too far from Ipanema ...

Question: Will I have a happy life?
Answer: To The South - Tan Dun & Yo-Yo Ma (Crouching Tiger OST)
Which as Rio is a long way south of London, I'm taking as a continuation of the theme already established and emigrating right after my beauty therapy. Happiness (and hairlessness) apparently awaits me in South America. Or maybe Australia. I hope they let me take aegeus.

Question: What do my friends really think of me?
Answer: Piazza, New York Catcher - Belle & Sebastian
New York is a city with a peculiar grip on my soul, so I guess this works in some way. I don't think I've ever caught anything in a piazza there, though. This would appear to be making some sort of reference to being struck down with a communicable disease in Times Square. I guess the intense concentration of tourists makes it a likely pandemic hotspot, but all the same I think one is more likely to be struck by a cab in Times Square than, say, malaria. I think we're just going to have to put this answer down to the fact that, i) this is a meme and ii) iTunes doesn't actually have l33t magic-8 ball skills and quit with trying to find meaning in it.

Question: Do people secretly lust after me?
Answer: The Dark Mark - Patrick Doyle (Goblet of Fire OST)
Which I will take to mean that the only people who secretly lust after me are Death Eaters. Is there something you're not telling me, petulans?

Question: What should I do with my life?
Answer: Wrapped Up In Books - Belle & Sebastian
Finally, an answer I can make some sense out of, and an answer I like, as it's something I could very happily see myself doing. One of my many secret ambitions is to run a small dusty bookshop somewhere in Brighton. I am, however, oddly spooked by the fact that iTunes shuffled onto two songs not only by the same band, but from the same album.

Question: Why must life be so full of pain?
Answer: Freeze Sucker - The Datsuns
You know, this answer seems fair enough without overanalysis.

Question: How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Answer: Last Date - REM
This is either a very sad answer, or a very sweet and romantic one, depending on your worldview. I am a pessimistic bastard, so I'm frankly in tears at this point.

Question: Will I ever have children?
Answer: What's The Frequency, Kenneth? - REM
Probably a fairly accurate description of the kind of predicament I'd find myself in in the unlikely event of finding myself in bed with a member of the fairer sex. So that's a 'no', then.

Question: Will I die happy?
Answer: Too Much - Spice Girls
Oh dear. If I die listening to the Spice Girls I shall be very pissed, possibly in both the British and American senses of the word simultaneously.

Question: Can you give me some advice?
Answer: Your Body's Callin' - R Kelly
This thing clearly is aware on some level that I have a one-track mind. But more to the point, how the fuck did R Kelly get into my record collection?

Question: What do you think happiness is?
Answer: Horny - Mark Morrison
Good answer. I sense the hand of some unknown compiler of Now! That's What I Call Music compilations at work here. How else to explain the presence of R Kelly and Mark Morrison.

Question: What's my favorite fetish?
Answer: Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through - Meat Loaf
Motorbikes. Leather. Could be ... or maybe ageing overweight rock impresarios with perspiration problems?

Question: Am I complete freak?
Answer: Meet You There - Busted
James Bourne out of Busted - the kind of funny-looking short one with the bleached hair* - has formed a new band called Son of Dork. They were on Popworld last Saturday and they are breathtakingly shite**. So on the strength of this answer, I am a freak. A hugeass one. But I wouldn't have it any other way

*It occurs me that all of Busted were kind of funny looking.
**We're talking The Noise Next Door shite here

Comments

[balefully.livejournal.com]

Which I will take to mean that the only people who secretly lust after me are Death Eaters. Is there something you're not telling me, petulans?

...ohgod. The mental images that conjures are better left unremarked upon. Ahahaha!

[longtimegone]

But more to the point, how the fuck did R Kelly get into my record collection?

I am a-feard of these type memes for precisely that reason. I realize I can manipulate the answers if I so desired, but I am terrified of what has been downloaded into my music collection for the past 5 years. o_O

Though I do have some Spice Girls. *facepalm*

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

Well, and after last week, Kristen, I have some Akon. I also have a surprisingly broad selection of 50 Cent, for when I am feeling all gangsta in the minivan, as one does. I also have some truly hokey stuff in there - Doris Day and Edith Piaf and Eva Cassidy.

I have this urge now to start a "cheesy music" meme, see what dark secrets are revealed. *mwahaha*

[longtimegone]

I can just see you going gangsta in the minivan. That totally rules. :))

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

What in sodding hell is wrong with Doris Day, Edith Piaf and Eva Cassidy?

[wordplay.livejournal.com]

Wrong? Dunno if I'd go that far but come on, Alex. There's a definite cheese factor.

Or are you preparing to profess your great and t00by love for Doris Day? And the Eva Cassidy was such a THING when it was, so she's definitely in the guilty pleasures category for me.

New icons! Pretty.

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

My inner showtune!fag doesn't object to Doris Day at all, and Eva Cassidy is a perfectly good singer - certainly miles better than the current Katie Melua inspired crop of female jazz artistes.

Pretty icons? Woo!

[sophie10.livejournal.com]

I have this urge now to start a "cheesy music" meme, see what dark secrets are revealed.

You NEED to do that. As for cheesy music, I so win at that.

[strange-idols.livejournal.com]

Mike Piazza is the catcher for the New York Mets; many times he's denied speculation that he is gay. Catcher is a position in baseball.

(I'm not sure if you were just being witty)

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

No, I didn't know that. But now I think the song is actually vaguely fitting.

[strange-idols.livejournal.com]

I rather liked your explanation, I thought it was more poetic. But maybe the song will make a bit more sense to you now - what with the mentions of stadiums, (baseball) diamonds, "the Giants and Mets will play".

Does baseball have any following in the UK?

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

We're aware of it on some level because of 10,000 movies that feature it in some way, but no, it absolutely does not have a following here.