Im on ur tv ruinin ur diet

[shinytoaster]

Four glorious days off work. Lalala.

I just watched Doctor Gillian McQuack* with a glass of wine. There's nothing more thrilling than gorging yourself whilst she ticks off some poor sod whose only crime was to go a bit bonkers with the old chicken shawarma. I kind of hope that one day, she stops me in the street with a burger and asks me to do a vox pop about how disgusting my diet clearly is. Then I will eat my burger in her face and when I'm done, I will say: 'Piss off and die under a pile of saturated fat you misery-loving fraudulent bitch.' HER DEGREES ARE FAKE! FAKE I SAY! WHY DOES THIS COUNTRY WORSHIP HER?

Apparently, every day McDonalds serves two million meals in the UK. Now, given the population of Britain is approximately 60 million, that means that in an average month, McDonalds serves the entire population of my country. This means that some greedy fat bastard has been eating my burger.

Comments

[pinguthegreek.livejournal.com]

Doesn't watching her make you feel smug about your diet ?

[catlily.livejournal.com]

She is grim, isn't she? Kind of like a Belsen inmate on speed.

McDonalds has been forced to start closing restaurants in this country, apparently in part because their diversification into "healthy" chicken salads (which perversely contain more calories than a Big Mac, although where I got that mcnugget of information from, I don't know) are confusing the punters so they're more likely to go to Burger King instead. It doesn't matter though, because they're expanding rapidly on the continent so can turn all the French into fat plebs as well. This is happening, to the extent that silly American/French woman who wrote "Why French Women Don't Get Fat" has been forced to change the title for the French market to "Why Some French Women Don't Get Fat."

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

I don't know whether to be happy that McDonalds is being forced to close restaurants, or sad that my compatriots are stupid enough to be confused by a chicken salad.

[pinguthegreek.livejournal.com]

It's easy to forget how many stupid people there are in this country.

[annajaneclare.livejournal.com]

She is a cow, isn't she? I know that kid had a diet like something from SuperSize Me, but the way McKeith was brow-beating her over her 'beastly feast' table it was no wonder the girl got in a mood. The woman's a fucking bully.

I was watching it the other week and she was berating some guy over his love of curry and insisting that she could make healthy curry. Bearing in mind my mother is a cholesterol-watching veggie who makes delicious vegetarian curries without having them dripping with artery clogging ghee I anticipated something similar, but no. La McKeith comes up with 'organic butterbean and tofu curry served on a bed of cabbage.'

That convinced me for once and for all. That woman is on a mission to FUCK. FOOD. UP.

[titanic-days.livejournal.com]

Someone, and I forget who, was ranting about this trick these people seem to have of showing you the minced up food you're eating, or the food you eat in a week, or the amount of saturated fat you pour down your neck in a year, which is completely unrepresentative and just designed to disgust you with no real substance behind it. Because, you know, I don't eat badly at all but all the food I eat in a week would fill a small trestle table too, and I bet that butterbean and tofu currey all whizzed up in a food blender would look just as bad as mechanically recovered turkey spleens.

Hate her, hate her hate her hate her. I know a few people who sing her praises to the end of the earth and it's very hard to bite my lip and not yell 'But what price happiness??!' at them.

[cazling.livejournal.com]

Oh I think she is hilarious. Like a pantomime witch, a little dried-up stick witch. I similarly found myself necking wine while watching her tonight. Heh heh heh. How rebellious of us.

Because, you know, I don't eat badly at all but all the food I eat in a week would fill a small trestle table too, and I bet that butterbean and tofu currey all whizzed up in a food blender would look just as bad as mechanically recovered turkey spleens.

True, but probably not all the food on the trestle table would be beige, eh? I always think that's the point of the trestle table: not how much food there is, but how much of it is utter processed shit with no fibre, vitamins or anything redeeming about it.

Butterbean and tofu curry whizzed up in a blender would look like sick, surely? I sometimes speculate that the diet she puts people on produces such dramatic weight loss because they just can't bring themselves to force much of it down. Her whole schtick for TV relies on taking people from one extreme to the other, whereas in fact one can be quite happy living in the middle without subsisting solely on seeds and tofu. BUT! The quinoa she's always pushing on people? Delish!

[kay-taylor.livejournal.com]

"Let's laugh at the poor people! AHAHAHAHA they're fat! AHAHAHAHA they eat burgers! AHAHAHAHA they don't know what tofu is!"

"Mummy, is this why we had the workhouses?"

"Yes, little Tarquin. Now hide your eyes."