Rather pointless meme
Sep. 6th, 2006 05:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shinytoasterThe memers are saying this is a thing about Britishness, but I don't really agree, I think it's more of a childhood thing.
1] Do you prefer to drink PG Tips or Sainsburys own tea?
Neither. I prefer the Fair Trade stuff you can get in Waitrose. Lah.
2] When was the last time you watched TOTP?
The last time I watched ToTP was the last time ToTP was on. How meta I am.
3] Have you ever been to a pub?
Too many to count.
4] Ever drank cider in a park?
Nope, but they closed the Royal Park near my parents' house when I was at school because my friends were. But they never invited me to join them and secretly I was very bitter, unlike the Murphys.
5] Customised your school uniform?
I had leather patches on the elbows of my blazer because my parents were cheap and bought all my uniform from the termly second-hand sales so that they always smelled of the malodourous boy who'd owned them before me and were slightly too long in the sleeve. Does dressing as a physics teacher count as customised?
6] Spend over £10 a week topping up your mobile?
I'm on contract, bitch.
7] Shopped at Aldi/Lidl/Netto?
I wouldn't be seen dead. Also, my nearest supermarket is Waitrose, so it's really no contest.
10] When did you start to go out clubbing?
September 26th 2000 at about 10:30 after an ill-advised cocktail of very cheap red wine from the 24 hour Budgens on Western Road and a brand of Vodka that was either Glenn's or Vladivar, but either way was distilled for ten minutes in some pit in Glasgow, which my new housemates called 'wineka'. The cocktail, not Glasgow.
11] Laughed at kids with 'free lunch' meal tokens?
No, we beat up kids with 'free lunch' tokens on sight in Surrey.
12] Do you call your mum by her first name?
Always. My parents thought it was cute and didn't bother to stop me so it got engrained. I got to see them naked and have little sips of their wine as well. We were middle class 80s liberals, man...
13] Have you ever shopped at "New Look"?
I get all my cutest skirts there.
14] How much are you willing to spend on a pair of shoes?
£50
15] Have you ever played a game of cricket?
Yes. We used to giggle when the teachers told us to wear protective boxes. One of them once demonstrated how to insert the protective box into your underwear. I understand he swabs floors in Pentonville now.
16] Did you like to play rounders at school?
I preferred it at Cubs because there weren't any girls.
17] Ever been made to do P.E in your underwear because you forgot your kit?
No, the one occasion I did forget my kit I fortuitously scraped my knee during break and then made wibbly noises about how I couldn't possibly do games because it hurt so much. And as a result I got to start the relay practice, which I feel winz on many levels.
18] Favourite flavour of crisps?
Then it was prawn cocktail Skips. Now it's some variety of Kettle Chips, but I forget what.
19] Do you eat fish and chips regularly or have them wrapped in newspaper?
Not as often as I would like, but more often than I should. I was never allowed to have them wrapped in newspaper because it's poisonous, or something.
20] What do you order from McDonalds?
I haven't had one in ages, so I couldn't say it was a regular thing.
21] Do you think £5.50 is a lot to go see a film at the pictures?
I think £1.50 is a lot to go and see a film at the pictures.
22] Do you drive or own a car?
Yes.
23] What did you do for your 'sweet 16th'?
That would be 1998 and, you know, I really don't remember. I wasn't popular enough to have a party, that's for sure.
24] Favoured alcholic drink?
Ales and whiskies.
25] Look to the right?
In-tray, empty bottle of Firefly Detox (Lemon, Lime & Ginger) with scissors stuck in the neck, freebie digital clock, pile of business cards, copy of Partner Developed Add-On Solutions For Microsoft Dynamics NAV (2006 Manual), box of drawing pins, mug of hot chocolate, blue dividing partition.
26]Look to the left?
Another in-tray, stack of magazines, my editor surfing Ebay.
27] Friends with a chav?
No, but one spoke to me in the park this morning. It asked: 'Did you see a boy sitting over there?' I said, 'No, sorry.' I do hope it wasn't seeking said boy for a start-of-term ass-whooping.
28] Lived on or near a council estate?
I live near one now, apparently, although I've only ever seen it from the train at Rayner's Lane.
29] Where would you class yourself at school?
Nothing.
30] Do you think we should bring back the £1 note?
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strangefrontier thought this meme was written by an Englishman, I reckon this question proves it was written by a Scotsman, because we haven't had £1 notes in England for over 20 years.
31] Do you think we should convert to the euro?
Absolutely.
32] Do you agree with the Royal Family?
No, I'm a Republican.
33] Have you ever been to London?
Definitely Scottish. I live there.
34] Blackpool?
Never.
35] Ireland or Scotland?
Maybe not ... yes, both. Ireland once. It rained. I went to Scotland on holiday to see some friends who lived in a place called Crail near St Andrews, that would have been in about 1990, then again in 1996 to stay on Arran, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been and we had glorious sunshine for a week, and then again in 2000 for an Open Day at Edinburgh Uni during which a powerful gust of wind nearly blew me off a bridge to a messy death on the roof of Waverley Station. Photographic evidence suggests I must have been at least two other times in the mid-80s, but memory is frail. Also, my aunt and uncle live in Ecclefechan.
Given that one of my ambitions is to own a small Scottish island where I can live in a castle and it will all be very quiet and peaceful, I should probably go more.
36] Ever watched a football, rugby or a cricket match on TV or in real life?
What the fuck?
37] How much do you get paid a month?
Must have been a Scot, only a cad would ask, and a gentlemen certainly wouldn't tell. But it's not enough.
38] Do you listen to Radio One?
Not for anything other than John Peel, so no.
39] Do you have Sky TV?
I would sooner ingest an hors d'oeuvre of stewed goats vomit jus and carpaccio of dung beetle before voluntarily handing over money to the owner of Sky TV.
40] Do you have a bulldog tattooed to your arm?
Yes, because all British people are up to their eyes in bloody buggering bulldogs.
41] Do you say phrases like 'safe', 'innit', 'bloody', 'bugger' etc?
I say safe in the context of a metal box for keeping things in. All the others I'm guilty of.
42] Been in the Channel Tunnel?
Several times. It's not that exciting, kind of dark.
43]Have you ever been to the 'cheap man' Disneyworld in France?
Yes. It was full of guilty-looking Europeans trying desperately to pretend they weren't all secretly completely and utterly overawed and mentally subdued by American popular culture.
43] Where have you been on your school trips?
Abroad, here, what? You want a list of every attraction in London I've been shunted round by a depressed, underpaid teacher?
44] Do your parents have a school photo in their purse/wallet?
I'd frankly think less of them if they did.
45] How many pairs of trousers do you own?
I can count eighteen, but I don't really see why this is important.
46] ...and underwear?
This is fast becoming not-so-much a meme about Britishness, not that it ever really was, rather more of a meme written by a teenaged girl with a brain warped by MySpace. You want me to count my pants why?
47] Been to the bookies/made a bet?
Yes. I lost.
48] Where do you do your food shopping?
Waitrose, Londis or Tesco Metro.
49] Where is an average weekend spent?
In mental purgatory.
50] Are you proud to be British?
Oh, right, now we're back to the actual British questions. Seriously, wtf, mememaster? Erh, I guess a little sometimes? No? maybe?
1] Do you prefer to drink PG Tips or Sainsburys own tea?
Neither. I prefer the Fair Trade stuff you can get in Waitrose. Lah.
2] When was the last time you watched TOTP?
The last time I watched ToTP was the last time ToTP was on. How meta I am.
3] Have you ever been to a pub?
Too many to count.
4] Ever drank cider in a park?
Nope, but they closed the Royal Park near my parents' house when I was at school because my friends were. But they never invited me to join them and secretly I was very bitter, unlike the Murphys.
5] Customised your school uniform?
I had leather patches on the elbows of my blazer because my parents were cheap and bought all my uniform from the termly second-hand sales so that they always smelled of the malodourous boy who'd owned them before me and were slightly too long in the sleeve. Does dressing as a physics teacher count as customised?
6] Spend over £10 a week topping up your mobile?
I'm on contract, bitch.
7] Shopped at Aldi/Lidl/Netto?
I wouldn't be seen dead. Also, my nearest supermarket is Waitrose, so it's really no contest.
10] When did you start to go out clubbing?
September 26th 2000 at about 10:30 after an ill-advised cocktail of very cheap red wine from the 24 hour Budgens on Western Road and a brand of Vodka that was either Glenn's or Vladivar, but either way was distilled for ten minutes in some pit in Glasgow, which my new housemates called 'wineka'. The cocktail, not Glasgow.
11] Laughed at kids with 'free lunch' meal tokens?
No, we beat up kids with 'free lunch' tokens on sight in Surrey.
12] Do you call your mum by her first name?
Always. My parents thought it was cute and didn't bother to stop me so it got engrained. I got to see them naked and have little sips of their wine as well. We were middle class 80s liberals, man...
13] Have you ever shopped at "New Look"?
I get all my cutest skirts there.
14] How much are you willing to spend on a pair of shoes?
£50
15] Have you ever played a game of cricket?
Yes. We used to giggle when the teachers told us to wear protective boxes. One of them once demonstrated how to insert the protective box into your underwear. I understand he swabs floors in Pentonville now.
16] Did you like to play rounders at school?
I preferred it at Cubs because there weren't any girls.
17] Ever been made to do P.E in your underwear because you forgot your kit?
No, the one occasion I did forget my kit I fortuitously scraped my knee during break and then made wibbly noises about how I couldn't possibly do games because it hurt so much. And as a result I got to start the relay practice, which I feel winz on many levels.
18] Favourite flavour of crisps?
Then it was prawn cocktail Skips. Now it's some variety of Kettle Chips, but I forget what.
19] Do you eat fish and chips regularly or have them wrapped in newspaper?
Not as often as I would like, but more often than I should. I was never allowed to have them wrapped in newspaper because it's poisonous, or something.
20] What do you order from McDonalds?
I haven't had one in ages, so I couldn't say it was a regular thing.
21] Do you think £5.50 is a lot to go see a film at the pictures?
I think £1.50 is a lot to go and see a film at the pictures.
22] Do you drive or own a car?
Yes.
23] What did you do for your 'sweet 16th'?
That would be 1998 and, you know, I really don't remember. I wasn't popular enough to have a party, that's for sure.
24] Favoured alcholic drink?
Ales and whiskies.
25] Look to the right?
In-tray, empty bottle of Firefly Detox (Lemon, Lime & Ginger) with scissors stuck in the neck, freebie digital clock, pile of business cards, copy of Partner Developed Add-On Solutions For Microsoft Dynamics NAV (2006 Manual), box of drawing pins, mug of hot chocolate, blue dividing partition.
26]Look to the left?
Another in-tray, stack of magazines, my editor surfing Ebay.
27] Friends with a chav?
No, but one spoke to me in the park this morning. It asked: 'Did you see a boy sitting over there?' I said, 'No, sorry.' I do hope it wasn't seeking said boy for a start-of-term ass-whooping.
28] Lived on or near a council estate?
I live near one now, apparently, although I've only ever seen it from the train at Rayner's Lane.
29] Where would you class yourself at school?
Nothing.
30] Do you think we should bring back the £1 note?
strangefrontier thought this meme was written by an Englishman, I reckon this question proves it was written by a Scotsman, because we haven't had £1 notes in England for over 20 years. 31] Do you think we should convert to the euro?
Absolutely.
32] Do you agree with the Royal Family?
No, I'm a Republican.
33] Have you ever been to London?
Definitely Scottish. I live there.
34] Blackpool?
Never.
35] Ireland or Scotland?
Maybe not ... yes, both. Ireland once. It rained. I went to Scotland on holiday to see some friends who lived in a place called Crail near St Andrews, that would have been in about 1990, then again in 1996 to stay on Arran, which is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been and we had glorious sunshine for a week, and then again in 2000 for an Open Day at Edinburgh Uni during which a powerful gust of wind nearly blew me off a bridge to a messy death on the roof of Waverley Station. Photographic evidence suggests I must have been at least two other times in the mid-80s, but memory is frail. Also, my aunt and uncle live in Ecclefechan.
Given that one of my ambitions is to own a small Scottish island where I can live in a castle and it will all be very quiet and peaceful, I should probably go more.
36] Ever watched a football, rugby or a cricket match on TV or in real life?
What the fuck?
37] How much do you get paid a month?
Must have been a Scot, only a cad would ask, and a gentlemen certainly wouldn't tell. But it's not enough.
38] Do you listen to Radio One?
Not for anything other than John Peel, so no.
39] Do you have Sky TV?
I would sooner ingest an hors d'oeuvre of stewed goats vomit jus and carpaccio of dung beetle before voluntarily handing over money to the owner of Sky TV.
40] Do you have a bulldog tattooed to your arm?
Yes, because all British people are up to their eyes in bloody buggering bulldogs.
41] Do you say phrases like 'safe', 'innit', 'bloody', 'bugger' etc?
I say safe in the context of a metal box for keeping things in. All the others I'm guilty of.
42] Been in the Channel Tunnel?
Several times. It's not that exciting, kind of dark.
43]Have you ever been to the 'cheap man' Disneyworld in France?
Yes. It was full of guilty-looking Europeans trying desperately to pretend they weren't all secretly completely and utterly overawed and mentally subdued by American popular culture.
43] Where have you been on your school trips?
Abroad, here, what? You want a list of every attraction in London I've been shunted round by a depressed, underpaid teacher?
44] Do your parents have a school photo in their purse/wallet?
I'd frankly think less of them if they did.
45] How many pairs of trousers do you own?
I can count eighteen, but I don't really see why this is important.
46] ...and underwear?
This is fast becoming not-so-much a meme about Britishness, not that it ever really was, rather more of a meme written by a teenaged girl with a brain warped by MySpace. You want me to count my pants why?
47] Been to the bookies/made a bet?
Yes. I lost.
48] Where do you do your food shopping?
Waitrose, Londis or Tesco Metro.
49] Where is an average weekend spent?
In mental purgatory.
50] Are you proud to be British?
Oh, right, now we're back to the actual British questions. Seriously, wtf, mememaster? Erh, I guess a little sometimes? No? maybe?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-06 09:47 pm (UTC)You could sue.
Also, if I ever called my mother by her first name, and wasn't introducing her or filling our a form, I would be slapped. I know this because I thought it would be cute to do when I was 12 and trying to be cool.
Being smacked infront of your friends: a lasting trama.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-06 11:13 pm (UTC)Couldn't have put it better myself. Good for you. Fuck Sky TV.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-07 10:59 am (UTC)Some family friends of ours still vagualy disapprove of us because I called my parents by their first names, but frankly to me it seems vaguely ridiculous not to. I mean, they're the most intimately related people you know, you are literally them, why the hell shouldn't you call them by their first names.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-09-07 11:00 am (UTC)