shinytoaster: (Roaring Water)
I had an altercation with an idiot at the ticket barrier on the way home.

Fair enough, I was having an Oyster-feeble moment, in that my card had just bleeped 'Seek Assistance' at me, but she slapped her card down on the reader before I could step back to try again, and then trapped me in the barrier when the gate opened on her swipe. So what else could I do? If I'd gone backwards I'd have knocked her off her feet and she'd have lost her swipe and been trapped. I had to go forward, so I bounded through the open gate saying 'Shit, that's your swipe, I'm so sorry.' Well, whatever, she scurried through as well before the gate snapped shut so nobody lost out apart from yours truly who now has an Incomplete Journey OMGWTF on my Oyster card. But the silly cow then had the cheek to mutter 'fucking bastard' at me, clearly thinking that because I had the old headphones in I couldn't hear her. Well, because I Am Nice And Have My iPod Turned Down On Public Transport I did hear, I heard her very clearly and, I have to confess I flipped and had a bit of a go at her. But I feel kind of bad because you know, she wouldn't have had a go at me if I'd been some six foot six builder with tattoos and earrings, and equally I wouldn't have had a go at her had she been a six foot six builder with tattoos and earrings. I don't like to think of myself as a bully and I think I may have come across as such, so clearly my karma has been set back by at least 2.5 Labrador puppies (or 0.75 of an amusing photo of an kitten). Anyway, I still think it goes to show that you should be a little more polite and I hope she realises that because the next guy she insults for a Genuine Mistake may be the gangsta with the knife. I may rant about the Oyster-feeble, but I try not to behave like that to people's faces. People should learn some fucking civility.

Actually, you know that guest column they have in Thelondonpaper or whatever it's called? I'm almost tempted to write something for it about this. Just to apologise for being a Bit Of A Cad and to ask people to be nicer. I know I can be uncharitable to people who make mistakes or stand on the right hand side of the escalator because they've not read the signs*, but I'm going to try and chill out a bit. or at least to say 'Excuse me please' before sending half a dozen newly-deplaned backpackers flying down the escalator to a messy, yet exhilarating death.

*Okay, maybe not this one.

ETA: cats are fighting in the garden. I hear their yowls of pain.
shinytoaster: (Orihime Bean Cake)
Four glorious days off work. Lalala.

I just watched Doctor Gillian McQuack* with a glass of wine. There's nothing more thrilling than gorging yourself whilst she ticks off some poor sod whose only crime was to go a bit bonkers with the old chicken shawarma. I kind of hope that one day, she stops me in the street with a burger and asks me to do a vox pop about how disgusting my diet clearly is. Then I will eat my burger in her face and when I'm done, I will say: 'Piss off and die under a pile of saturated fat you misery-loving fraudulent bitch.' HER DEGREES ARE FAKE! FAKE I SAY! WHY DOES THIS COUNTRY WORSHIP HER?

Apparently, every day McDonalds serves two million meals in the UK. Now, given the population of Britain is approximately 60 million, that means that in an average month, McDonalds serves the entire population of my country. This means that some greedy fat bastard has been eating my burger.

December 2011

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